The semester is over

A lot of grading awaits, but classes are over. Final assignments will be turned in today. It's strange to think that this may--possibly--be my second to last college composition class. I certainly had some challenges and hard times this semester, but in general, I am leaving with a warmer and fuzzier feeling than usual. I know you could say it's because I realize this period of my life is ending, and maybe that's true. But I've also been giving a lot of thought to how I got through the semester, particularly with regard to some students I found challenging from day one. Even from the first day of class, they were talking and horsing around and wise-assing a bit, and I remember a feeling of dread as I walked away that day: oh no, this semester is going to be a disaster. I remember telling my husband that when I got home.

But it wasn't a disaster, not at all, and I managed to handle what I saw as a potential discipline problem in a way that never exploded. Of the four students I thought could be a big problem, two are coming back for my class next semester (with my whole-hearted approval) and one just sent me a nice note over email. I keep thinking how badly I would have handled the situation as a rookie teacher, and how proud I am that I managed to let these students know I needed them to behave differently without alienating them or making them turn against me and the class. I stayed in control, I didn't let them hijack the class or ruin it for the other students, but I also didn't ever yell, threaten, bully, try to have them removed, or even make them feel like I didn't want them there (I think). They remained in the class in good standing. I end the semester with a feeling of great fondness for my whole class, for these students as much as the others. I am so proud that I have it within me to handle this sort of thing now. It makes me think that, ironically, I am more suited and qualified to be a teacher than I ever was before in my life, right at the pivotal moment that I may be walking away from it.

Not that I'm thinking I don't want the change. I think I am just a little puzzled.