A lot of grading awaits, but classes are over. Final assignments will be turned in today. It's strange to think that this may--possibly--be my second to last college composition class. I certainly had some challenges and hard times this semester, but in general, I am leaving with a warmer and fuzzier feeling than usual. I know you could say it's because I realize this period of my life is ending, and maybe that's true. But I've also been giving a lot of thought to how I got through the semester, particularly with regard to some students I found challenging from day one. Even from the first day of class, they were talking and horsing around and wise-assing a bit, and I remember a feeling of dread as I walked away that day: oh no, this semester is going to be a disaster. I remember telling my husband that when I got home.
But it wasn't a disaster, not at all, and I managed to handle what I saw as a potential discipline problem in a way that never exploded. Of the four students I thought could be a big problem, two are coming back for my class next semester (with my whole-hearted approval) and one just sent me a nice note over email. I keep thinking how badly I would have handled the situation as a rookie teacher, and how proud I am that I managed to let these students know I needed them to behave differently without alienating them or making them turn against me and the class. I stayed in control, I didn't let them hijack the class or ruin it for the other students, but I also didn't ever yell, threaten, bully, try to have them removed, or even make them feel like I didn't want them there (I think). They remained in the class in good standing. I end the semester with a feeling of great fondness for my whole class, for these students as much as the others. I am so proud that I have it within me to handle this sort of thing now. It makes me think that, ironically, I am more suited and qualified to be a teacher than I ever was before in my life, right at the pivotal moment that I may be walking away from it.
Not that I'm thinking I don't want the change. I think I am just a little puzzled.
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3 comments:
yay! Those are some mad teaching skillz, sistah!
I didn't realize you were thinking of stopping teaching. Switching careers?
we look forward to hearing about the next phase! there's always things you miss. still figuring out what I want to do myself! what I'm doing now is a bit of deja vu, but different enough from the past (with different people) to be interesting.
Leaving on a high note is the best. Way better than leaving burnt out.
Congrats on your success. I'm glad to hear you so positive! You deserve the accolades from yourself in addition to others. (Did you second guess that sentence and wonder if it could have been written better? I did, and I'm feeling lazy. :-) )
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