Friday, October 12, 2007

A talent for stress

I had a massage yesterday that I desperately needed. My neck was hurting so badly that I couldn't turn my head to the left. My usual levels of stress and tension had been exacerbated by several nights of Daisy sleeping in our bed, forcing me into increasingly uncomfortable positions curled in the little area of the bed that was still left for me. Anyway, I think I impressed my masseuse with my level of stress. She told me I was a "more-than-one-massage" case and that I should return within a week so she could get more of the stress out of me. She worked on the knots of tension so hard that it was all I could do not to cry out in pain, and I kept moving involuntarily (I was doing my Lamaze breathing from when I was in labor). But it was GOOD pain, because I knew she was getting rid of the knots. She is the greatest masseuse. She thought I would be sore today, and kept warning me what to do, but I was so greatly relieved to have some of the stress out that I don't at all mind a little soreness today. I feel so much better.

And now I need to work on not clenching my jaw all day long. I know it's wearing on my teeth, as well as giving me terrible headaches and stress in my neck. I am kind of a mess. I think I need to work on being less cerebral and more in tune with what's going on in my body (but see how I began this sentence-- "I think." That's all I do). I have a hard time with any part of my body that is not my brain. I need to work on this somehow.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, believe me, I know all about what having a baby in the bed does to one's neck and back (not to mention the parts of one's body that get kicked in the middle of the night by said child). At one point we set up a cot in our room, next to the bed, where Celia slept when she was about 1-2 years old. She called it her "piece of bed."

Actually, being cerebral and working on stress are not mutually incompatible. Dealing with stress is a mental activity: clearing your head, relaxing your muscles, etc.

Here's one thing that helps me -- I learned it from a stress counselor that was brought in for me and my co-workers in the wake of 9/11. It's called "5-and-1 breathing." You just inhale in one second, and exhale in 5 seconds. That's it. The act of exhaling actually triggers relaxation in your body. Plus, you have to stop whatever you're doing to breathe like that, so that helps relieve stress as well.

Anonymous said...

I clench my jaw in my sleep, leading to TMJ and overdeveloped jaw muscles, so I know of what you speak.

Have another massage soon!

Linda

Anonymous said...

I do that, too -- clench my jaw and such. Lately, I've been trying to be more aware of it as well.

This is sort of goofy, but it's been helping me: About mid-morning and then again in the middle of the afternoon, I actually have my Outlook email programmed so it will remind me to breathe! And relax my face and neck muscles. When I do, I can't believe how scrunched my whole face has been. Fake smile, eyebrows lifted, always trying to look alert and positive for everybody else's benefit. You can drive yourself crazy, you know? Anyway, when I breathe like that, I'm able to visualize all the muscles through my head and neck, just chillin'. It's great.

specules said...

I hear ya on the pain, I do. I really do. 24/7 on my left side, actually. And I don't even have kids (yet?).

Who's your masseuse? The one at Mindful Body?

You should get one of these: http://www.nefitco.com/foam_roller_3foot.html
I learned about it from Pilates, where we lie on them lengthwise and do tummy exercises. It feels good to roll side to side on them and work out kinks under your shoulder blades. I found another use for them today though -- lie across them them orthogonally and roll up and down and it cracks your upper back as well as massages out a wider area on your upper back. That and the tennis balls can help between massage appointments. Sports Basement in the Presidio carries the foam rollers for $18 and it's worth every penny!

Haddayr said...

Oh, geez I read this with a horrible sense of recognition.

Lola said...

Thank you, all, for empathy and also for the suggestions! I will use them, definitely.

Anonymous said...

The difficult thing (one of them) about my being like this is a niggling Puritan sense of righteousness. I know that internalizing my stress does me no good. It does a great deal of harm, plus it makes me less able to work, less able to deal with others, etc. But sometimes I feel sort of proud that my stress manifests itself physically, like it's solid proof of how hard I'm working and how much I'm suffering. If my masseuse isn't impressed, I'm a little let down.